She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
