hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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