I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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