he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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