i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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