Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
