if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
