sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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