i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
