I accidentally burped into my bong.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
