I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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