"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
