best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
