if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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