The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
