i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
