What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
