Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
