had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
