wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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