I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
When did angry sex become our thing?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
