The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
