have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
