She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
