I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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