dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
