I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
