billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
