I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Small penises have feelings too.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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