he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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