I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Also, beer. Big fan.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
