Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
