yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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