I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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