I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
