WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
