So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You are the jesus of drinking
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
