Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
