I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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