And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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