How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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