If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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