4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
