i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
