fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.