shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her