We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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