oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him