Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
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by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON