In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often