I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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