Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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