Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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