you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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