I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
