I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
