boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
