I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
