In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
