He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
