Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
