Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
jump out the window naked night went bad
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
