Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
