last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
