im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
