Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
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Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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