Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
