ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
