Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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