I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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