Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
