apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
