He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
